Ukraine: Expectations

Well, it’s time to write about Ukraine. I’ve been putting off writing about it because, as I entered Ukraine some five months ago, what I saw, heard, felt and experienced was kind of shocking. But the entire reason for this trip was to see Ukraine. Thus, after finding Stare Brusno I’d decided that my time in Poland was finished. There was only one direction left for me to take and that was East, to Ukraine. So I got thinking, What can I expect in Ukraine?

There is no other country that I’ve grown up with more than Ukraine. Sure ancient Greece and Italy occupied my academic life, but Ukraine has always occupied my familial and social life. As a 2^nd/3^rd generation Ukrainian-Canadian, I’ve taken part in the traditional folk dances, eaten the food and even played in a Ukrainian polka band. Many of my friends and even some of my family have visited Ukraine before. So I’d heard a lot about the country second-hand.

I’d been told of the corruption ranging from border trouble to the street cops stopping me and asking me for my “dokyment”. So I figured I should be on guard and suspicious of everybody. Men, women, children, even the animals couldn’t be trusted.

Women. World-renowned beauty. Everybody who even thinks of Ukraine always comments on the women. Besides, judging by the genes we Ukrainian-Canadians have going for us, I was pretty sure Ukrainian women would meet or exceed my expectations. I figured they’d swoon over me, after all, who wouldn’t swoon over a 28-year old, single, moderately weighted, glasses-wearing, filmmaker, blogger, musician and English teacher? I also wondered if they would be like Thai women, better hunters than I am meaning I may have the English-speaking card but they’ve got other cards you can only understand after the experience (figuratively speaking of course.)

And then there’s the vodka. I’d never really tried vodka made from the ancestral homeland. Further, after travelling through Poland for two months, I could only imagine how else vodka could be made. Even the Poles told me that the Ukrainians drank more than they did. I was told (possibly in jest) that Poles will admit they have a problem after one bottle a day; Ukrainians after 2 bottles a day; and Russians? 4 bottles a day. A bottle being 750ml.

Russians. If there’s one thing you hear constantly in Canada it’s about the East-West divide. Basically, Ukraine can be, and probably will at some time, cut in two. I really wanted to see this for myself as I couldn’t believe it. I’m intrigued by this issue because here in Canada we have a similar cultural and linguistic issue between the Western, English-speaking parts and the Eastern, French-speaking parts of the country. And let’s not forget the First Nations folks, there’s a touchy subject for you.

First thoughts. My immediate thoughts of Ukraine are about the Orange Revolution. How were things shaping up in the country? What were they like? A few people I know were inspectors for the second round of voting. Not only that, I watched a documentary called the Orange Revolution and couldn’t believe what the government was trying to get away with. If there was one time in the nation’s history that corruption was most obvious it was during the 2004 elections. I wondered what has happened since.

Language. I was both thrilled and nervous at the thought of being in my grandparents country where the Ukrainian language is actually spoken. Sure I had taken Ukrainian classes when I was younger but, as all things without use, my language atrophied and soon sputtered to nothingness. How much would I remember? How much would I understand? Is it really that similar to Polish? How Russianized has it become? And how long would it take before I could fluently conduct a conversation in Ukrainian? I told my family in Canada I wasn’t coming home until I learned Ukrainian fluently.

Food and culture. Do they still eat so-called “Ukrainian food”, such as borscht, pirogies, paska, kolach, etc.? I didn’t imagine I’d have much trouble ordering food since I know the Cyrillic alphabet. Plus, I’d managed in southeast Asia and Korea, how could I not manage in my ancestral homeland? And what about Ukrainian shirts, do they wear them everyday or just sometimes? And how do they dance in the clubs? Are they breaking out in hopak-style splitz and down-up-cross-kick or are they jigging like the hip hop-video clubsters?

Kozaks. Shortly before I left for Ukraine I made some comments about being a “Kozak” and this and that. My Mom kindly warned me that the Kozaks weren’t exactly the nicest people to everybody and to tone down the “I’m a Kozak” bravado.

Old Soviet ways. I’d also heard about the “old Soviet ways” that included waiting in line for food and restricted times for hot water. If there’s one thing I appreciate more since I’ve started travelling it’s having warm water.

Work. I was heading into the country without a work visa or permit. I didn’t tell too many people that fact but, as it goes hand-in-hand with the rampant corruption, I was wondering how difficult it would be to find an English teaching job (the most lucrative and easiest job for me) and what would happen when I got one. I’d done some research online and, well, there are many stories of things going wrong. I had my suspicions about the availability of teaching English while in Ukraine, particularly because the Poles told me that the Ukes weren’t interested in learning English, they were satisfied with learning Russian or nothing. Quite simply, it’s the first time in my life I would ever contemplate working “under the table.”

Family. What was even more daunting and scary was the fact that I knew I still had family in Ukraine. Distant family, but family nonetheless. My grandfather came from a family of 6 or 7 kids and I’m still unsure about how many of them came to Canada. What’s more, I was told before I left Canada to learn Ukrainian because they didn’t speak English. When I heard that I resolved to learn Ukrainian fluently as fast as I could.

Lastly, I was told about Ukrainian scenery, including its architecture and countryside. “It’s beautiful, it’s untouched, it’s this, it’s that,” they would say. Lviv, in particular, is widely talked about, followed by the Carpathians and then Odessa.

With all of this in mind, I went to Ukraine, my ancestral homeland.