Australia: Expectations

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Flag of Australia

Flag of Australia, courtesy of the WikiCommons.

When you read this, I should be somewhere over the Pacific heading toward Australia. I actually find it a little funny that I won’t actually get to do anything on Wednesday, January 18th 2012. Why? Because my flight out of LAX is at 10:45 pm and I will cross the international date line. So, in celebration of missing a day, I will publish a post. :D

A few folks I know have gone to Oz before me so I’ve been able to hear about life and work already. Not only that, it’s the first country that I’ll be living in that speaks English just like me, so I can’t imagine too many communication problems. But, as with every day dream and trip taken, one formulates some expectations about the destination. Below you will find a few of the thoughts and expectations I have about Australia. I understand some are kinda out there but, well, so is Australia.

Some expectations:

Spiders, snakes and dingos that eat babies. These little buggers are like southeast Asian land mines: walk into the bush for a piss and lose a leg or, worse, die! I wish I were joking when I say that I’m concerned about being bitten on my peepee or ass by an errant spider while sitting down for relief. But I’m not. Even Steve Irwin, Mr. Crocodile Hunter, a professional, died an untimely death because of a dangerous creature. But somehow the Aussies survive so I can only imagine that they have some way of solving the issue of spiders and snakes. Maybe I’ll just invest in a catheter so I don’t have to go to the toilet. As for the dingos, have you ever heard of the story about the dingo eating the baby? I still don’t know where I first heard it but it’s stuck in my mind ever since high school. I’m not even sure if it’s true.

Australians. Yes, you read that right. Canadians and Australians seem to have an extraordinary endurance for alcohol and an ability to “commit to the cause”, the cause typically being a pitcher or three. I can’t count the number of Australians I haven’t exchanged emails with due to the fact that we got obliterated, passed out, and then had to catch an early train or whatever. Just like vodka and honey, some things just go well together. Canadians and Australians go well together. And did you know there’s a Ukrainian community in Oz, too?

Work. I’m going on the work/travel visa which, I’ll admit, I only applied for because I was partially offended that I couldn’t apply for it after I turn 30. Since 2012 will be my 30th, I decided that I’d take advantage of working across Australia. Little did I know just how expensive a work/travel visa actually is, it cost close to $500! That being the case I wanna go work. I have in mind a few jobs that I would like to try: barista, ESL teacher (gotta go for 3 continents!), construction worker, or, failing all of that… a miner! Apparently Australia has a huge mining industry which is also why their currency is so top notch right now.

Heat/nice weather. I’ve been told that Australia has nice weather and that even their winters are rather mild. I understand that there are places in the world warmer than the Canadian prairies, but why is Australia so fucking special? Well, upon closer examination of the world map, I see that Australia is, in fact, closer to the equator than Canada. You might ask if I’m wussing out of Canadian winter weather. Yes. I mean, there are actually warmer places you can go and work and live other than the Canadian prairies (and not Toronto.) While working on the farm I once tried to tell my uncle that the reason I travel so much is because “I’m a flower that needs a certain soil to grow in,” but I’m pretty sure he started wondering about what I was really trying to say. In any event, I guess I should start doing some sit-ups and break out the good ol’ Speedo.

Movies. Did you know that Heath Ledger who portrayed the infamous Joker in The Dark Knight is Australian? Nicole Kidman, the lady who’s provided me many a good night’s dream, is also Australian? Same with Hugh Jackman and Mel Gibson? So how the hell do they speak so well in the so-called “American accent”? If anything, I am determined to learn the Australian accent which, I find, to be much more endearing than the letter-omitting British accent. Lastly, I truly hope that Australia has produced something other than Crocodile Dundee, a movie played an important role in my developmental years.

And a few other short expectations:

Learn to play the didgeridoo. Yep, I’ll be that lame-o white guy who not only buys a 6-foot didgeridoo and busks on the street, but I’ll probably try to learn something about the Aborigine culture too.

Wine. Looking forward to sampling the many types of wine produced in Oz. Hopefully they’re cheaper than they are in Canada.

Harvest coffee. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Australia actually has a coffee harvest! And for some reason I’m super excited about participating in the harvest!

Stars. This will be the first time I get to see the southern hemisphere’s stars!!!

And so it is that I head out Down Under, to the land of criminal English descendents, to the land of wheat and gold, to the land of Oz.

Back to Canada and on to… Australia?

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From Ukraine to Canada to Australia

From Ukraine to Canada to Australia.

Well, I’ll admit I’ve been a bit of a hermit while in Canada. After travelling so much and so far, coming back to Winnipeg was both exciting and depressing all at once. Let’s face it, the city’s kinda isolated from the rest of the world. Though I love Winnipeg and it is my hometown, I knew I wasn’t going to stay.

It’s been an exciting time to be back with a couple more weddings in the family and a new niece. I even went back to work on the farm outside of Dauphin again. Alas, it was never meant to be long-term and, well, I was looking for something else.

When I got home from Ukraine, I couldn’t help but start thinking of my next destination. The first place I wanted to go was Africa. I even started researching the continent and got the appropriate shots. I had decided to stay in Winnipeg until after Christmas and then head on out so I needed to find something to do. The big problem with Africa, however, is that many of the places I wanted to go to (Egypt, Ghana, Senegal) are kinda pricey in addition to some of the civil unrest in different parts of the continent.

One solution I came up with was to go work on the Alberta oil sands. Farm work was sporadic this year (though it did pick up after Thanksgiving Day) and at one of the weddings I mentioned my interest in working on the oil sands. One of my uncles gave me a copy of the Western Producer, a newspaper dedicated to the Ag biz in Western Canada and the US. I looked through the “jobs” section and stumbled across an ad for work/travellers to work the Australian harvest. That got me thinking, instead of Africa, Australia would be pretty cool. Instead of saving up for some sort of big travel plan, I could try out the work/travel visa thingy.

So I began my research into this work/travel idea. As a matter of fact, the brides in both weddings I attended had gone to Australia a few years before. One applied for the work/travel visa and worked on a farm in Oz while the other had gone the backpacking route. Not only that, one of my aunts and her partner have both travelled through Oz, though they didn’t work there. Australia and my family seem to have a history.

After some more research, the Australian work/travel visa thingy seems to be a pretty well-oiled machine. Since this is my first time trying the work/travel visa thingy I really don’t know what to expect. Do I live in a hostel, an apartment, or a tent? Who hires people they know can’t stay in one spot for more than six months? And what about that mining industry? Seems to be a pretty good gig, and offers lots of work!

There was one other thing that made me interested in going to Australian: the didgeridoo. Yes, I’ll probably be that white guy who buys a six-foot stick with holes in it and busks on the street. The didgeridoo is one instrument that has always fascinated me, aside from the African djembe. Apparently the instrument belongs to some sort of ancient story line called Dreamtime. I can’t help but be fascinated by the instrument and its music.

So we’ll see how it goes. It’s a one year visa which, if my experience in South Korea is anything to go by, will go by faster than I realize. Then who knows, stay for another year? Move back to Winnipeg? Work on a cruise shop? I dunno.

Poland and Ukraine: The Homelands

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Canada: Winnipeg, The Great Canadian Shield bus trip, Ottawa, Kingston, Toronto
Poland: Warsaw, Łódż, Bydgoszcz, Gdańsk, Sopot, Toruń, Poznań, Wrocław, Kraków, Auschwitz, Rzeszow, Lubaczow, Stare Brusno, Przemyśl
Ukraine: L’viv, Kyiv, Kharkiv, Poltava, Yeompil, Sokolivka

Although my trip to Poland and Ukraine was not as epic in terms of breadth as my Asian adventures, it was much more epic in terms of its personal meaning and maturation. I’ve added another 2 country stamps to my passport and a bunch more cities to my little Facebook travel map.

Polish FlagIt was an eye-opening experience to visit Poland and Ukraine. I can’t say I ever believed I’d go to Ukraine, nor Poland for that matter. The idea to go to Poland came as a result of meeting a very lovely Polish girl while travelling through southeast Asia in 2010. After hearing her talk about the country, the seed was planted to explore my ancestral homelands. And so, after 6 months in Canada, I ventured across the Atlantic ocean again and backpacked through Poland before doing a 4-month stint teaching ESL in Kharkiv, Ukraine.

Visiting Ukraine was a shock to my system, however, and I’m still not sure I could formulate the reason why. I’d travelled before, I’d grown up in the Ukrainian-Canadian community and heard so much about the country, both good and bad. Several of my friends and family had gone there before me. But visiting the country myself was a shock. Thinking back, Ukraine isn’t as poor as folks make it out to be and despite numerous forums and message boards that boast horror stories of run-ins with the cops, nothing too major happened. The worst was brought upon me by overstaying my visa.

And now for the summary:

Canada

Greyhound busTaking the bus from Winnipeg on January 1st, we managed to hit a snowstorm as we crossed southern Ontario. During one stop for the night I managed to get myself into a little trouble thanks to a guy who fancied himself a fighter from “the other bus” that had left Winnipeg about 9 hours after we had. That left me with some busted glasses and my first story.

Finally making it to Ottawa, I stayed with family for Ukrainian Christmas and discussed my plans to go to Ukraine. I also had the chance to meet the Ukrainian ambassador to Canada. Although they gave me several contacts in Ukraine, I still felt the need to go exploring by myself.

Poland

Palace of Culture and Science in Warsaw, Poland.On January 14th, I took off from Toronto to Warsaw, Poland since I’d heard that flying into the Boryspiel airport in Kyiv was extremely corrupt. I stayed in Poland for two months, immediately loving it. I was in Warsaw for a week before being persuaded to attend a crazy party in Łódż. While there, I auditioned for a Polish ice cream commercial… and failed.

After Łódż, I reconnected with the Polish girl who I had met in SE Asia in Bydgoscz and stayed there for a week. Her family was more than gracious in allowing me to stay in their apartment for such a lengthy period. We used Bydcity as a centre from which to explore Toruń, Gdańsk and Sopot. But Ukraine was calling.

Back to Warsaw I went and stayed for another 3 weeks contemplating getting a job there. Being a Canadian citizen, however, I thought it would be too difficult to get a EU work visa so I decided to leave. You might want to note that I didn’t try very hard to attain a work visa. It was Ukraine I wanted to go to. But before getting to Ukraine I had another little missions: finding an old cemetery in which a few of my ancestors are supposedly buried. But why go straight there when you can take the more adventurous and interesting route?

Poznan Goat ClockI took the train over to Poznań for a few days but there wasn’t much there other than an embarrassing run-in with the cops. I stayed for the great goat clock spectacle then boarded a train for Wrocław.

Wrocław was a neat city and it was there I met a former travel agent while we were both drunk and stumbling home at 5 in the morning. She gave me her number and we agreed to meet up later that day. She acted as my tour guide the entire weekend, showing me points of interest, facts about the city, and she even brought home made chocolate cake. She recommended I go to Kraków before Ukraine and, once in Ukraine, if I stayed in Lviv, she’d come and visit me.

Krakow Rynek at night.So off to Kraków I went. A much renowned city, Kraków was used by the Germans both as a ghetto for the Jews and a hang out for German officers. Steeped in history and untouched by the bomb-fucking that Warsaw got, Kraków is a picturesque city overrun by tourists and students. Kraków also serves as the base of operations to visit Auschwitz and the Wieliczka Salt Mines. I contemplated settling down and signing up for Polish lessons here. It was close to Ukraine, architecturally interesting, and I was beginning to run low on cash. But no, I had in mind to find a cemetery first (I don’t know why I didn’t think I couldn’t find it after getting a job.)

Rzeszow street at night Taking the train into Rzeszow, another picturesque city, I met up with a couple of hard-drinking Poles who introduced me to the daze-inducing Spirytus. After I recovered from that little adventure, I changed my mind and thought it would be possible to find Stare Brusno by bus. It would take longer, but be much cheaper than renting a car. Boy, that was a mistake.

The cemetery, located among the ruins of an old town called Stare Brusno, was about two hours outside of Rzeszow and the easiest way to get there would be to rent a car. My first attempt at trying to find Stare Brusno was to take a bus from Rzeszow to neighbouring Lubaczow whence I would take another bus to Stare Brusno. But while in Lubaczow, looking at the map and considering the infrequency of the bus schedule, I opted to return to Rzeszow and rent a car… my first time driving outside of Canada!

Back I went to Rzeszow to rent a car. Preparing for my solo roadtrip I brought some food and my recently purchased Behemoth and Lanki Lan Cds. The Great Steven Sirski Polish Solo Road Trip In Search of A Cemetery in Southeastern Poland had begun! (We are now in talks to make it into a feature length movie. Xaxaxa!)

Well, after a few wrong turns and sporadic blizzard-like conditions, I found the cemetery nestled amongst a forest, resting peacefully, stilted in time, sheltered from the rest of the world developing around it.

Snowy crosses in Stare BrusnoAnd such peace there was in Stare Brusno! Isolated cemeteries are very quiet and peaceful, but not in a frightening way. I noted that many of the tombstones had faded or been washed out. As a history graduate, you take note of these types of things. I also wondered who would care for such an old cemetery? Kinda makes you put life in perspective. I would find out later that there is a book being written about Stare Brusno and its inhabitants. If you’re interested, I can send you the contact details.

Goal accomplished, I had no more reason to stay in Poland unless I got a job. I debated the idea for another day but I knew where my heart wanted to go: Ukraine, my ancestral homeland, the country I’d heard so much about.

Ukraine

L'viv train station at night.I decided to go to Lviv. My cousin had been there two years prior and knew some folks who could help me get settled. Lviv it was.

Crossing the border into Ukraine wasn’t such a big deal, though the train station in Rzeszow wouldn’t sell me a ticket through to Ukraine. Instead, I took the train to Przemyśl and then had to find a bus that would take me over the border only to get in at 11 pm. I remember thinking just how unreal the entire situation was. I was finally visiting Ukraine!

What a rush it was! 11 pm. Lviv. I was in my ancestral homeland. If Stare Brusno was memorable, the fact that I was now in the country my grandparents came from was simply astounding. Hopping into a cab, I got a lift to the Kosmonaut Hostel near Shevchenko Park. This would be my base of operations while in L’viv. I was too excited to sleep and, after checking in, immediately went out for a walk in my new city. I didn’t stay out too long as I was wary of the cops and other thugs out at that time of night (it was a university district after all!)

I would spend a week getting drunk in Lviv – what would my grandparents think??? – sampling many types of vodka, experiencing the club scene and investigating the cafe culture before I would secure a job in Kharkiv on the other side of the country.

St Michael'sSo it was off to Kyiv on an overnight train to get trained for a few days before I was back on the night train again to Kharkiv. I would revisit Kyiv and spend a few days there taking in the sights, noting the split in the country that happens from West to East.

Stepping off of the train in Kharkiv, I simply had no idea what to expect. Nothing. For all the stories out there, all the blog posts, all the alcohol I’d consumed, nothing could prepare me for how I was going to react staying long term in Ukraine. I told my family back home I wouldn’t return until I was fluent in Ukrainian. Well, things didn’t turn out that way.

I stayed in Kharkiv for four months teaching ESL, touring around the city, sampling many types of horilka, making acquaintances with many of my students, and befriending a very nice lady in the neighbourhood. I spent Easter in Kharkiv and almost survived the full 5-hour church marathon, but retired an hour and a half shy of the finish mark. We went back for the blessing.

Kharkiv LeninTo be honest, I wanted to quit teaching in Kharkiv a week after being there. I didn’t like it but my boss talked me into staying. Not only would it make her life easier since the term was already starting (and she was pregnant), but she was sure that my view would change if I gave Kharkiv a chance.

She was partially correct. My view of Ukraine changed but my discomfort in Kharkiv didn’t. Not having the proper work visa was one problem, the other was the fact that I wanted to study Ukrainian and in my mind I could only study Ukrainian in L’viv. I wasn’t very happy about settling for a primarily Russian-speaking city with architecture that paled in comparison to L’viv.

I gave notice I would be leaving after my second semester. I just wanted to go. Not only that, a couple of my cousins were getting married in Canada and I wanted to attend the weddings. I didn’t want to be that cousin who disappeared from the wedding photos because of some reason like “he was busy working in a country he didn’t want to be in.”

Ukrainian village houseI made my way back through Ukraine on train (again), finally met my extended family in Ukraine and visited their village. Not only that, the friends I made in L’viv took me to see their home in the village as well. Such a difference between Ukrainian city and village life! By now I had less than a week to get back to Canada for my cousin’s wedding.

I said my goodbyes then made my way through the Polish-Ukrainian border, through Przemyśl and up to Warsaw. I flew back to Toronto in time to snag another bus from Toronto to Winnipeg. I got back just in time to attend the first wedding.

Back to Canada

Mission accomplished. I’ve been to Ukraine. I’ve seen the graves of my ancestors. I’ve walked on the land they called home. I’ve studied and learned a bit of Ukrainian and Russian. I’ve learned much more about Ukraine and Poland and those lessons are much more vivid as a result of being there myself. And now, after being out of the country for over seven months, I want to go back.

But not just yet. I have over adventures in mind and, really, I need to make more money before I head back to Ukraine so I’m not so broke the next time. Sure, Ukraine is cheap, but it’s not a good place to be if you don’t have much money (just ask the people who live there!)

For now, I’ll take the pictures and the writings and be content with the fact that at least I’ve visited my ancestral homeland. As for my Ukrainian, well, I’ll have to find a way to keep that alive while out of the country.

Coffee and Coffee Shops in Poland and Ukraine

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Warsaw in summertime.

Warsaw in summertime.

Poland

Sowa in Bydgoszcz, Poland

Sowa in Bydgoszcz, Poland.

First is Sowa, a small chain of stores started in Bydgoszcz and spread around Poland. Depending on the store you go to, the ambiance and decor will be different, though the prices are similar in every store. The first was at ulica Mostowa 5 is more properly called a Confectionary Shop, Wine Bar, and Restaurant. The restaurant closes at night but the wine and coffee bar stay open serving small appetizers and desserts. A pianist played classical music which greatly enhanced the already romantic and luxurious atmosphere. The second place right across the street (ulica Mostowa 4), has a large, naturally-lit cafe area but no late-night wine or coffee bar. I liked this one cause I could sit by the window and watch people. Not only that, these cafes don’t just serve up regular cafes, they make their own. Some are served with alcohol, others not. Overall, highly recommended for both the coffee and atmosphere.

The Bookhouse Cafe was probably my favourite cafe I visited in Warsaw. Located on Swietorkryszka Street just around the corner from the Oki Doki Hostel. The atmosphere was laid back and had a bookish feel. Can you guess why? It was located right beside a bookstore! Their double espresso was generous but sold for the same price as other coffee shops in the area. Internet was free, but limited to 1 or 2 hours. As for alcohol, only wine was served. Tried one of their wraps, the chicken one I think and that was pretty good. Never tried any of their desserts.

Wedel's in Warsaw.

Wedel's in Warsaw.

I should also mention that if you’re looking for a neat cafe and chocolate shop in Warsaw, head to Wedel’s Chocolate Lounge where you can sip your espresso and sample any number of their pralines served on a silver platter. :D

Finally, the chain stores. Coffee Heaven, iCoffee, Empik Cafes and the foreign entries Costa Coffee and Starbucks all offer a similar experience… clean, uniform, and comfy business-like atmospheres supported by pretty good drip coffee and espresso. Lots of places play jazz music over their stereo but don’t offer any live music. All had free internet. Exclusively Polish were Cafe Trakt, near the Royal Palace, it looked good from the outside but was kinda small on the inside and the coffee was only so-so. Biegu w Cafe is also a chain store, but is some sort of quasi-cafe/pub. They serve up all sorts of dishes and also serve alcohol. Though a nice place for a date, the serving sizes, unfortunately, don’t match up with the prices.

Lastly, for a picturesque cafe culture, head to Krakow. I preferred a place called Momento’s in the Kazimierz District on Plac Nowy. Though not a cafe strictly speaking, it had a neat atmosphere, good food, and double as a cafe and pub. Free WIFI to boot. Other than that, Krakow itself, like Lviv in Ukraine, offers a great atmosphere in which to sit back, enjoy great coffee, and watch the world go by.

A view from a Lvivian cafe.

A view from a Lvivian cafe.

Ukraine

If Ukraine is a country in transition, so is it’s coffee culture. More renowned for vodka than anything else, instant coffee seems to be the de facto standard here. However, “natural coffee”, that is, ground coffee beans, is becoming more popular. Cost is usually the biggest different, “natural coffee” is about double the price of instant. While living in Kharkiv I was able to find very good natural coffee from all over the world. If you’re not a coffee aficionado and don’t care to be, the supermarket offers good Ukrainian coffee under the name of Zhokej. Most of all I enjoyed their dark roast (the black packaging) but their orange flavoured coffee (the orange pack!) also tasted pretty good. Although I don’t usually drink flavoured coffee, Zhokej’s orange flavoured coffee was a delight to smell walking into a room. That being said, who knows how or where they got the orange flavouring from.

Zhokej coffee line

Zhokej coffee line. From left to right: Hazelnut, Dark Roast, Caffe Italiano, Medium Roast, Classic Roast, and Orange Flavoured.

If you are a coffee connoisseur or wish to be, your best bet to find coffee beans from all over the world is Dom Coffee. Doubling as a cafe, Dom Coffee imports beans such as the Jamaican Blue Blend, Kopi Lowak and beans from Sumatra, Java and Ethiopia. Although they boast a wide selection of coffee beans, the cafes themselves are rather Spartan. The cafes look like places to buy coffee machines rather than cafes to lounge around it.

Espresso and water.

A typical espresso and water.

Other cafes in Kharkiv include the Art Cafe, which boasts a much more comfortable, tribal, though smokey, atmosphere. WIFI was free. Like Dom Coffee, they have quite a selection of coffees from around the world so don’t be afraid to ask in broken Russian or Ukrainian for something other than your regular drip coffee. And if you’re looking to hang around the university district, try out the IT Cafe, which also offers a selection of moderately priced meals and… music at night. :) (Though I never got a chance to any bands play there, I did see the drum kit and one of my students said he always had gigs there.)

For the chain stores, the idea of non-smoking sections is a foreign concept to most Slavs, preferring instead to be able to smoke outside and in. The smoke-free atmosphere I could find was McDonald’s. Every other coffee shop I’ve been to allows smoking. Coffee Life is another big chain store throughout Ukraine. Just about every cafe I walked into had WIFI.

Lviv Ratusz

Lviv Ratusz from street level.

For a burgeoning and immersive cafe culture head to Lviv. In downtown Lviv (where I spent most of my time), you could generally walk into any cafe and watch the world walk past. Let’s face it, when looking for a cafe the coffee itself is typically a secondary or even tertiary consideration. Instead, you want atmosphere and scenery. Well, just about ever downtown Lviv cafe offers just that. A couple of cafes that stood out to me were Gloria’s Beans cafe located in the same building as the George Hotel on Procp. Shevchenka. I was also told to try the Blue Cup Cafe, a small cafe located in a naturally-lit nook at 4 Vulica Rus’ka that serves up coffee “Lviv-style”, among other varieties. From what I could tell, “Lviv-style” coffee is none other than Polish-style coffee: coffee grounds at the bottom of your cup. But what Lviv offers most of all is a centrally-located, picturesque, cafe culture, especially in the summer months. You think Krakow is the place to be? Try Lviv, I bet you’ll change you’re mind.

Przemyśl and Warsaw, Poland: A Return to… Civilization(?!)

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Przemysl at night.

Przemysl at night.

And so after four months in Ukraine, I wanted to make my way back home for a cousin’s wedding to happen in July. After enduring yet another 23-hour train ride from Kharkiv to Lviv to visit my Ukrainian family, I took the bus from Lviv to Sheheni, on the Ukrainian-Poland border. I had overstayed my visa by a month and was anticipating some trouble at the border. I intended to renew it when I went to Lviv two months prior but I just never did.

The border guards were nice about it. “You overstayed, go see my boss.” So off I went to a little room where a mid-20s female border guard explained what I did wrong, scanned my passport, got me to sign a document stating that I knew what I was doing and under no duress, paid a fine ($65), and then walked across the border to Poland. Not so bad as I’d heard worse stories. In the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter too much but next time I visit Ukraine I’ll be sure to renew my visa anyway.

Hopping an inter-city bus I made my way to Przemyśl.

Przemyśl is a nice little town. I saw some signs for ESL schools and seriously thought about posting up shop there, or at least coming back at some point. I spent the day wandering around the ornate streets and visited several churches.

Przemsyl street during the day.

Przemsyl street during the day.

Przemysl pink building.

Przemysl pink building.

Franciscan Church interior.

Franciscan Church interior.

Greek Orthodox Church Interior.

Greek Orthodox Church Interior.

Catholic Church interior.

Catholic Church interior.

Przemysl street at night.

Przemysl street at night.

Przemysl sunsetI’d like to note the change between Ukraine and Poland is vast. First, it was difficult for me to switch back into Polish after speaking surzyk for the last four months. I tried to remember the Polish words I was taught but often Ukrainian or Russian came out instead. Further, life itself seemed different in Poland compared to Ukraine. As more than one ESL teacher I met told me, Ukraine offers more excitement compared to the Western world. In a word, Poland, Canada and other such Western countries were, simply “boring”. Both sets of women are extremely gorgeous, but the Polish seem to be a little more conservative in their manner of dress. Gone were the six-inch heels and visible underwear! The cost of things is noticeable as the Polish zloty is valued considerably more than the Ukrainian hryvnia. The cost difference is best realized by the Ukrainian babas (grandmothers) who offer Ukrainian horilka (vodka) and cigarettes on the Polish side of the border. Had I not been going back to Canada I would’ve bought a few bottles.

Speaking of bringing things across the border, the most notable difference between Ukraine and Poland – for me at least – was that there was no general distrust the law, unless you are breaking it. By way of contrast, in Ukraine, no one, absolutely no one would suggest you talk to a police officer unless there was no one else around. The cops in Poland, however, were very nice (which I can sadly tell you from experience.)

And with that, I hopped yet another late night bus back to Warsaw. The bus trip wouldn’t be without it’s uniqueness, such as a drunk man serenading another elderly lady. Four hours later I arrived in Warsaw. Again, the difference between Warsaw in winter and summer was huge. In winter Warsaw had such charm and colour. In summer? It looked like any other western city. I don’t hold it against Poland, however, as I had just come from a developing country. I was surprised to find myself agreeing with my former co-worker who had described the West as “boring”! It’s kinda shocking to go from a developed country into a developing country, especially when they’re right beside each other. How can it be that these things happen?

I took another walk around Warsaw to enjoy the last of my stay in my homelands. Another chapter, another trip, was closing. Although I was glad to leave Ukraine at the time, as time passes I miss the country more every day. I’m excited for the future for both Poland and Ukraine and truly hope that things will improve for both peoples.

So, after visiting my homelands I could only wonder, what next?

Warsaw in summertime.

Warsaw in summertime.

Ukrainian Horilka Part 2: The Contenders

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Ukrainian Horilka

Ukrainian horilka.

After reading through the procedures and protocols for serving, enjoying and understanding where horilka came from, I now present to you my research on the Ukrainian cultural drink, horilka, more commonly known as vodka.

Forgive me for not writing down what these horilkas were made of. Some of them are made with honey and pepper, some are from potatoes, others from grains such as wheat or rye. The last few on the list, however, could have easily been made from shoe laces for all I know.

Lastly, any list of Ukrainian horilkas is surely to be incomplete. As anyone who walks into a Ukrainian market can tell, this list only scratches the surface.

The Big 4: Good for you, good for gifts

The Big Four Ukrainian horilkas

Khortitsa (Хортиця) – Horilka of the Cossacks. Okay, maybe not, but it’s named after the island where the Kozak Sich is located. I was exposed to this horilka while visiting Kriyvka in Lviv. My backpackin’ group moseyed up to a group of girls and a guy (two sisters, their brother and a friend). We offered to buy them a bottle of horilka if they let us sit with them. The drink and night was on! Backpackers and Ukrainians unite! We did shots kinda like it was tequila, with salt and lemon and the perogies we were eating that night, but this vodka was smooth enough to go down on its own. (As an added plus, the website has some pretty music on its intro page, kinda Christmassy, kinda spacey. Very nice touch.)

Khlibna Sloza (Хлібна Сльоза) – The name means “the tears of bread,” which I can only imagine means that the bread is sad to see its brothers, sisters, and cousins being squished and liquified. With no distinct taste other than that of alcohol, this is one of the nicer and expensive horilkas that is made in a “natural” way as opposed to the other cheaper versions. This horilka came highly recommended by my students (always after class never before, right??) I’m told the best way to find out how good a bottle of horilka is is to check how you feel in the morning (is there no other way?). KS falls into the category of half bottle drunk = quick night but okay morning. Never managed to get through a whole bottle to see what that would feel like. Seems to me to be a very pure, well-made horilka and had another added bonus: the bottle was stopped by a cork so they included a plastic corkscrew!

Nemirov – Another excellent and pure horilka that goes down smooth and doesn’t leave much of an after-effect so you can go teach later in the day. Nemirov comes in a few flavours, among which include the famous honey peppered horilka. Careful, this one really burns, the regular horilka not so much. Best served with an hors d’ouvre or something small to eat as this stuff will tear your throat apart. Who thought of mixing hot pepper and horilka? Each on it’s own will tear your throat apart!

Prime – Another smooth horilka and kinda expensive. I think we shared this one while at a house party so I only got one or two shots in before the bottle was gone. Everyone seemed to enjoy it though. Apparently the company also runs a vodka museum which I never had a chance to explore. Excellent smooth vodka kinda like Khortitsa above.

The runners up: For parties and quiet nights alone

The runners-up Ukrainian horilkas

Stoletov – Not the best, but it comes in a lot of flavours, though I noticed that all of the flavours are subtle to the point of not even noticing them. I’m pretty sure the commercial on Youtube below is about how one guy is yakking about the purity of the horilka, while the other guys are like, “woah, who cares? It’s good vodka.” Decent horilka, decent price.

[youtube width="320" height="240"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOEIS-VE6zg[/youtube]

Medovuha (Медовуха) – Supposed to be mead-horilka but didn’t really taste like much. The honey flavour was very subtle and best when served chilled. This one went well with salo.

Blagoff – One of the first horilkas I tried when I arrived in Ukraine. I thought it was pretty good but it didn’t really have any stand-out features. Goes well on its own, but I imagine its subtle enough to mix with juice to have your sex on the beach. Apparently they even have “forgery protection” on their bottles which, I was told, is a big problem in Ukraine and Russia: fake liqour. So if your horilka tastes like strange water, it probably is.

Istynna (Істинна) – The name means “truth”. I tried two types, brown label and blue label but they both tasted the same. I would learn later that this is one of those horilkas that is “like water” in the sense that it has no distinctive taste. Possibly fake? No, perish the thought.

Khutorok (Хуторок) – The name means “village” and one of the bottles had a smokey look to it, though in the shot glass it looked pretty clear. Decent and had the “Neat! A smokey horilka!” look to it more than anything else.

To avoid, unless you have no cash

To avoid Ukrainian horilkas

Kozatzka Rada (Козацька Рада) – After reading the description of the drink on its website, I think I may have had a bad bottle or, quite possibly, didn’t try enough, because this is supposed to be an elite horilka. It was the first horilka I bought in Ukraine. Terrible, but I bought it because I foolishly thought that any horilka bearing a picture of a Kozak, a historical Ukrainian warrior, would be good. Wow, was I mistaken. I’m pretty sure I won’t have kids because of this one. The worst thing about this vodka is that because it’s named after the Kozaks you may feel the urge to pretend that you are a warrior. Bad idea. Leave the fighting to the Brothers Klitschko. I will have to revisit this one to verify. I did keep the neat bottle though.

Ykrainska (Украінка) – Best remembered by one of my students who explained what the name meant: Ukrainian woman. She stood up and curtsied. How nice of her, memorable even. But the horilka is shit. Burning and a whole bunch of “ow” in the morning it’s best to leave this horilka to the professionals.

Khlibnyj Dar (Хлібний Дар) – Literally translated the name means “bread gift”, but the company’s website translates it as “strength, internal lustihood, reliability, support, solidity and dignity”. Quite a difference. Not sure I’d give this one as a gift, though. It really wasn’t all that bad, but some folks seem to consider this to be “water” more than anything else. Apparently KB and Kozatzka Rada are made by the same company, which might tell you something. They gotta be doing something right, though, the woman who holds the company is one of the richest in Ukraine.

Horilochka (Горілочка) – Oh god, don’t touch this one, please, if you don’t have to. If the Kozak horilka wasn’t good, this was worse. Definitely won’t have kids because of this one. I’d really like to know how this one is made.

Available in Canada

It’s odd to try Ukrainian horilka in Canada because sometimes you can’t find what they sell here in Canada in Ukraine itself. These include Slava and Zirkova. Both great horilkas, Slava is a little more smooth than Zirkova though both are distilled four times, which, from what I understand, enhances the alcohol content, or maybe it’s the purity of the alcohol. Not only that, the website boats that the Technology Chief holds a PhD in vodka. I’m not even sure how you can get that.

Anyway, I remember most of the Zirkova bottle only because, fresh from coming back to Canada and made brave by my vodka research, I attended one of my cousin’s weddings. Well, a relative of mine pulled out a bottle of Zirkova. Now, I know this guy’s a better drinker than I, plus his girlfriend was there, surely she’d moderate the consumption, right? Nope. She did shot for shot with us. It must’ve been pretty good horilka because it only took us 20 minutes to finish the bottle, so I’m told.

And that’ll just about do it for my Ukrainian horilka research. Please enjoy and drink responsibly!